


Welcome to chANs KitChEn

by orphan_account



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Other, text au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2020-12-31 15:29:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21147986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: And weclome to another crack text au, that is probably gonna end up very horribly cause it's based off of vine videos.





	1. The squirrel is watching you

**Author's Note:**

> And weclome to another crack text au, that is probably gonna end up very horribly cause it's based off of vine videos.

{Stray Kids}

Jisung: I’m watching u.

Felix: What the hell?

Chan: holy shit he really is watching us.

Jisung: Changbin, stop

Jisung: or keep going

Jisung: it doesn’t really matter

Seungmin: ?

Seungmin: where r Hyunjin and Changbin?

Jisung: Felix

Jisung: where did ur boyfriends go?

Felix: iadk

Jisung: They’re around the corner.

Woojin: What r they doing?

Jisung: Kissing?

Seungmin: Jeongin,

Seungmin: why are you nodding?

Jeongin: Changbin and Hyunjin are cute together.

Jisung: well duh.

Woojin: Chan kinda looks like he either wants to kill himself or someone else

Chan: both?

Seungmin: would this have something to do with Jeongin?

Jeongin: *punches Seungmin*

Seungmin: ow, he really did punch me.

Jisung: oof, it didn’t hurt too bad did it?

Seungmin: well,

Jisung: I’m just kidding, iadc

Chan: *screams quietly*

Jisung: Woojin

Jisung: y r u walking away?

Woojin: to use the restroom?

Changbin: hey, r u guys talking abo me?

Jisung: u and Hyunjin so yes.

Changbin: where even r u Jisung.

Jisung: nowhere and everywhere.

Changbin: I am groot *yells*

Minho: what the hell is going on?

Minho: *concentrate so hard goes cross eyed*

Woojin: what the heck.

Hyunjin: *laughs* he looks funny.

Jisung: u know what looks funnier tho?

Jisung: Jeongin, Chan, and you dancing a choreography wrong.

Jisung: it wasn’t even that hard of a dance.

Hyunjin: did anyone else notice how Seungmin’s and Jeongin’s outfits kinda match?

Seungmin: wait they do? *looks between outfits*

Jeongin: *yeets fork*

Jisung: *panicked gays*

Jeongin: stop it *gets up and walks away*

Hyunjin: he actually did omg lmao

Jisung: *appears around a corner* I’ll be watching u.

Felix: okay, which corner is he at now?

Jisung: *slinks into shadows* I’ll be watching u

Felix: where is he

Hyunjin: I think he’s the only one that knows

Jisung: w a t c h i n g u

Jeongin: I’ll be watching u

Hyunjin: w a t c h i n g u

Seungmin: *claps* good job

Jisung: I’m still watching u

Jisung: and I’m on the gc

Jisung: do you think I can’t see u impersonation me

Hyunjin: we know ur watching that’s y we did it

Woojin: Chan

Woojin: it’s ur turn to watch the kids

Woojin: I’m going back to the apartment.

Seungmin: *follows Woojin* I’m coming too!

Jisung: *stares at u from the trees*

Seungmin: wtf bro

Jisung: I’m going back to the apartment

Jisung: bye

Woojin: bye?


	2. I AM GROOOOT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's another chapter cause I'm incredibly bored.

{Stray Kids}

Felix: where’s Chan?

Woojin: sleeping.

Seungmin: he actually sleeps?!

Woojin: rarely

Woojin: but yes

Felix: who wants to go play a game with me?

Minho: Felix

Minho: it’s too late to play games.

Jisung: I will!

Jeongin: I’m always up for games!

Minho: I have been proved wrong.

Felix: cool.

Felix: just follow me.

Jisung: why are going to a closet?

Minho: u better not be making a move on my bf

Felix: bish I have my own of those.

Felix: actually two of my own

Felix: so why would I steal urs

Minho: good point

Minho: but still

Jeongin: oh, I know what this is.

Jeongin: we go into a dark room

Jeongin: and someone makes a noise

Jeongin: then the other people guess who it was

Felix: yay!!!!

Felix: u got it right!!!

Jisung: that sounds fun!

Seungmin: I kinda wish I was playing now

Felix: no

Felix: you already rejected me

Felix: and I’m too lazy to come get you

Felix: so you’re not allowed to play

Seungmin: ur rood.

Seungmin: but ur reasons r very understandable

Seungmin: so I’ll let it slide

Felix: excuse me!

Felix: I’m ur hyung!

Seungmin: by like not even a year

Felix: I’m still older than u

Seungmin: whatever

Hyunjin: this is actually pretty funny to watch

Felix: Hyunjin

Felix: ur supposed to take my side

Felix: cause I’m ur bf

Hyunjin: that’s not how it works Felix.

Felix: *pouts*

Hyunjin: urg fine I’ll take ur side

Felix: *smiles*

Hyunjin: Seungmin, you don’t have to apologize

Hyunjin: just don’t make my sunshine sad again

Hyunjin: understood

Seungmin: yes?

_ Jeongin has changed Felix to Jinnie’s sunshine. _

Changbin: excuse me

Changbin: I think you forget someone?

Jeongin: oh right

Jeongin: sorry

_ Jeongin has changed Jinnie’s sunshine to Changjinssunshine _

Changbin: it’s better but not quite what I wanted.

Jisung: okay so

Jisung: who’s making the ambulance noises?

Changjinssusnshine: it’s not me

Jeongin: what if I told u it was me?

Jisung: I wouldn’t believe u

Jisung: cause ur standing right next to me

Minho: r u sure about that Sungie?

Seungmin: no he’s not.

Minho: I want the squirrel to answer.

Jisung: yes I’m sure about it

Changjinssunshine: Jeongin

Changjinssunshine: y’d you turn on your flashlight?

Changjinssunshine: u ruined the game

Changjinssunshine: oh that’s why

Changjinssunshine: {attached Screenshot 2019-10-19 at 1.27.18 PM}

Changjinssunshine: u look almost as scary as Chan.

Chan: I’m not that scary looking.

Jisung: not all the time

Jisung: just a few select moments

Chan: share one with me

Jisung: {attached Screenshot 2019-10-19 at 1.30.06 PM}

Jisung: r u sure abo that hyung?

Jeongin: *laughing* hyung why r u sniffing a bag?

Jeongin: omg look at his face!

Jeongin: {attached Screenshot 2019-10-19 at 1.34.05 PM}

Woojin: u smell it then Jeongin

Woojin: and imma take a picture of ur reaction

Woojin: {attached Screenshot 2019-10-19 at 1.36.01 PM}

Jeongin: It actually does smell really good.

Changbin: I am GROOOT *yells*

Chan: I am groot

Hyunjin: *laughs* what was that?

Changbin: u forgot the cutely part.

Changbin: u laughed cutely.

Chan: I am groot

Hyunjin: I am groot

Chan: I am groot.

Jeongin: what are u doing with ur hands

Hyunjin: r u pretending to play with a cellphone?

Hyunjin: stop using the phone.

Chan: I am Groot

Seungmin: translation: heck no

_ Jeongin has changed Seungmin to Translator _

Hyunjin: I said stop *muffled giggles*

Chan: I Am GrooT

Translator: translation: I said NO

Hyunjin: *snatches phone from hands* yoink

Chan: I AM GROOT!

Translator: translation: wtf boi

Hyunjin: *busts out laughing*

Chan: i am groot… :(

Translator: translation: u r not worth my time

Chan: I aM gROOt!

Translator: translation: bye bitches

Woojin: and he actually left


	3. Go play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the last chapter i have writen right now. Hope you enjoy!

{Stray Kids}

Changbin: I am groot

Hyunjin: I am grooooot

Changbin: Woojin where r we going

Hyunjin: I AM groot

Changbin: I am groot

Hyunjin: I aM groot

Hyunjin: *at same time as Changbin* I am groot

Changbin: we r groot

Hyunjin: ?

Changjinssunshine: ?

Jisung: ?

Translator: ?

Changbin: we r groot

Hyunjin: ? *is still confused*

Changjinssunshine: ^

Jisung: ^^

Translator: ^^^

Changbin: Weee r GroooT

Changbin: *yells*

Hyunjin: *silence*

Changbin: *attacks Hyunjin’s arm*

Hyunjin: introduce ur self.

Changbin: yes, hello, I am Groot.

Hyunjin: I am GrooT >_<

Changjinssunshine: I am groot.

Jeongin: *satanic version*

Translator: *yells*

Jeongin: is he groot?

Jisung: I am groot ibnida

Jeongin: he is also groot

Hyunjin: I am groot

Changbin: I am groot

Changjinssunshine: I am groot

Jisung: what kind of organism is groot?

Hyunjin: I am groot

Jisung: how old is groot?

Hyunjin: I am groot *at same time as Changbin*

Changjinssunshine: *finally catches onto the joke* *starts laughing silently*

Jisung: what’s groots name

Hyunjin: I am groot *at same time as Felix and Changbin*

Jeongin: *yongbok enters the chat*

Jisung: what planet r u from?

Hyunjin: Iii am Groot *at same time as Changbin and Felix*

Jisung: *claps* how stupid r u groot?

Changjinssunshine: I AM Groot *at same time as Hyunjin and Changbin*

Jisung: r u saying ur not stupid?

Changbin: I AM gRoot *at the same as Hyunjin and Felix*

Translator: this is getting annoying

Translator: can y’all stop.

Hyunjin: I am groot

Jisung: we will never stop

Woojin: we’re here

Woojin: now get out and go play

Hyunjin: we’re not kids hyung

Woojin: then why would u ask to go to the park Hyunjin?

Hyunjin: Jisung and Felix were the ones to ask

Hyunjin: and as Felix’s bf I am required to go with him so…

Changjinssunshine: u wanted to come u cant deny it

Hyunjin: ur right I can’t

Woojin: whatever get out and go play like the children u r


	4. Bed Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update, Hwall, Woojin, and Wonho took a toll on my energy and motivation, hope you enjoy this next chapter though.

{Stray Kids}

Changjinssunshine: why is Jisung in a tree?

Jisung: because I felt like being in a tree.

Hyunjin: is it just me or does Jisung look like a squirrel?

Jisung: if u say no i’ll fight u

Seungmin: why?

Jisung: because I want to be a squirrel.

Seungmin: o...kay?

Hyunjin: imma go find Binnie

Hyunjin: I want cuddles

Hyunjin: Felix u can come too

Felix: I’ll be a minute but I’ll be there

Changbin: get him off me!

Chan: who?

Hyunjin: Me?

Hyunjin: nope ^-^

Chan: oh, Hyunjin?

Chan: y would I do that?

Changbin: because u love me

Woojin: bold of u too assume

Chan: I wouldn’t love him

Chan: now go away it’s time for bed

Changbin: Chan, I’m too old for a bed time

Chan: ur never too old to have a bedtime

Jisung: but if u have time for a bedtime is a different story

Chan: Imma be watching u to c if u actually do what I say.

Changbin: like that’s going to help me sleep

Changbin:  _ a t a l l _

Jeongin: if it helps at all

Jeongin: I’ll be watching u as well.

Woojin: so will I

Chan: no u wont

Chan: u will also b sleeping

Chan: except for maybe Woojin

Chan: he’s a grown man he can make his own choices

Chan: and he’s older than me anyway 

Chan: so tbh

Chan: I don’t think I could tell him what to do if I wanted to

Seungmin: Chan, we’re all grown men and can make our own choices.

Seungmin: but I’m not complaining about a bed time

Seungmin: I need to get my sleep schedule in check

Seungmin: and stop watching Day6 vids till ass hours of the morning

Seungmin: actually, I don’t think imma stop

Seungmin: screw sleep schedules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short... I'll try to make the next chapter(s) longer to make up for it.


	5. punch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huhu here we go, with the next couple updates of welcome to chANs kItChEn, have fun!

Jisung: ready

Jisung: action

Minho: ?

Jeongin: *punches Seungmin*

Translator: wtf why did you punch me again

Translator: and when tf did you learn to punch so goddamn hard

Changjinssunshine: you hit someone older than you

Jeongin: yes

Jeongin: but I didn’t mean to hit him  _ that  _ hard

Translator: but you still meant to hit me

Changbin: Chan

Changbin: go  _ away _

Chanbin: and stop with your weird dances

Translator: excuse me Changbin

Translator: I think you interrupted someone

Changbin: do I look like I care

Chan: come oooon

Chan: the cafe will be fUn

Changbin: how many times do I have to tell you 

Changbin: I don’t want to go

Changbin: now go away

Chan: :(( fine

Chan: I’ll get your boyfriends to come with me

Chan: cause Woojin won’t

Chan: and neither will you

Changbin: I’ll go if they go

Changjinssunshine: I’ll go 

Changjinssunshine: I really need to go out and get off my ass

Woojin: language

Woojin: and Chan

Woojin: I said that I  _ couldn’t  _ go with you

Woojin: because of my job

Woojin: so it’s not something I can debate

Chan: I know

Chan: but I can still be sad

Hyunjin: I’ll come

Hyunjin: but only because Binnie and Lix are going

Hyunjin: otherwise I would stay home and watch more dramas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this is so chaotic and I'm running out of ideas lmao.


	6. I C E   C R E A M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is all I have written right now, the next chapters should come soon though.

Changbin: I C E C R E A M

Seungmin: wha-

Chan: he sees ice cream

Felix: and I guess instead of asking for it he messaged the gc?

Chanbin: Jinnie~

Changbin: can you get me ice cream

Changbin: p l e a s e

Hyunjin: of course :)

Felix: me too me too

Hyunjin: of course :)

Chan: and me

Hyunjin: urg fine :l

Seungmin: what about me and Innie

Hyunjin: get your selves ice cream

Seungmin: then why-

Hyunjin: because Lix and Binnie are my boyfriends and wouldn’t be able to deny them if I wanted to

Hyunjin: and Chan’s helped me a lot so I can’t really deny him either

Hyunjin: now go buy your own ice cream if you really want it that bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, that's for reading more of this chaos.


End file.
